Friday, March 7, 2014

L.A.M. on What other Kids Show Malaysia should Ban apart from Ultraman


Ultraman, the larger than life superhero, who survived numerous monster attacks and saved the Earth countless times has been defeated (at least in Malaysia) by the Home Affairs Ministry. Although details are not out yet on the reason why, there is speculation that this could be due to the comic using the Arabic word for God to describe a specific Ultraman. I'm not going to question Malaysia's Home Affair's decision since this banning proves that they are hard at working (instead of hardly working). 

As I am a supporter of protecting public morality, I would like to offer them additional suggestions on what other childhood favorites they can ban to justify their headcount and salary.

1) Might Morphin Power Rangers





Power Rangers is an American live action children's television series that premiered on August 28, 1993. It features 6 teenagers who were chosen to protect the world from a group of alien invaders and were given the ability to "morph" into super-powered warriors and to pilot giant robots called "Zords."

Why it should be banned:

Firstly, it contains the word Morphin, which is one letter away from Morphine which is a banned drug in Malaysia. Just as how Breaking Bad is getting people hooked on Meth, MMPR could encourage indiscriminate drug use.

Secondly, it encourages racial stereotypes. Although on the surface, MMPR appears to promote racial diversification by using actors from different races, the truth is that the show is rife with racism. The African American guy plays the BLACK ranger, the Asian girl plays the YELLOW ranger, the gay guy plays the BLUE (closest color to purple on the color spectrum) ranger and the villain, Rita Repulsa is played by a Japanese. Oh come on, Pearl Harbour was 70 years ago, get over it already.

Update: In a case where the truth is stranger than fiction, Malaysia actually did ban/censor Power Rangers because of the word Morphin.

2)  Sesame Street


Sesame Street is a long-running American children's television series. The program is known for its educational content, and images communicated through the use of Jim Henson's Muppets, animation, short films, humor, and cultural references.

Why it should be banned:

Sesame Street features occult elements such as a vampire that counts, a monster that eats cookies and Elmo. On the surface Elmo seems innocuous but on further examination, Elmo's laughter hides a darker secret. Elmo is red, Satan is red and the way he laughs proves that he is the spawn of Satan.

Sesame Street also promotes homosexuality by featuring homosexual couples like Bert and Ernie. Same-sex cohabitation is not the right kind of behavior we would like to see in a conservative country like Malaysia. Also it features a guy who lives in a trash can which is obviously not a good role model for children.

3) The Powerpuff Girls

The Powerpuff Girls centers on Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup, three girls with superpowers, as well as their "father", the brainy scientist Professor Utonium, who all live in the fictional city of Townsville, USA.

Why it should be banned:

The powerpuff girls features a single, male professor who while displaying symptoms of pedophilia created 3 girls out of sugar, spice and everything nice. This teaches children that it is ok to play God. Also this whole girl power thing is not suitable for a conservative country like Malaysia.

4) Pokémon

 
Pokémon is a Japanese children's anime television series, which has been adapted for the international television markets. It is based on the Pokémon video game series and is a part of the franchise.

 Why it should be banned:

Pokémon causes epileptic seizures. One particular episode that aired on December 16, 1997 sent more than 635 Japanese children to the hospital with epileptic seizures. Obviously, this show poses particular health hazards.
 
Also Pokémon is a abbreviation for Pocket Monsters. Having a monster in your pocket is in itself a sexual innuendo which is not suitable for children.

Due to show's premise of Pokémon trainers using pets to fight each other, it could encourage kids to raise dangerous pets and set up cock fighting rings or worse, "cock" fighting rings.

5) All Disney Princesses

 

Disney Princesses are a line-up of fictional female heroines who have appeared in various Disney franchise films.

Why it should be banned: 
Snow White: Encourages necrophilia and cohabitation with 7 short strange men.
Rapunzel: Discourages girls from practicing proper grooming and leaving their hair overly long.
The Little Mermaid/The Princess and the Frog/Beauty and the Beast: Encourages bestiality. On top of this, Beauty and the Beast also encourages kidnapping as Beauty is obviously a victim of Stockholm syndrome.
Cinderella; Encourages foot fetish.
Sleeping Beauty: Encourages sloth.
Jasmine: Encourages mixing around with thieves. Also the first 2 syllables of Aladdin should be banned.
Mulan: Encourages cross-dressing and transsexualism.
Pocahontas: Look at what she is wearing? This is public indecency.
Also heroines is 2 letters away from heroin, a banned drug in Malaysia.

So Malaysia's Home Ministry, there you have it, my contribution to the protection of  young gullible minds as well as my tiny effort to restore morality in society. You are most welcome.


L.A.M.

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